How To Tell Your Therapist Off

Well it's quite simple really. Especially, when you get charged an inflated, ridiculous amount ($95) for a missed appointment when you normally pay $19!

I woke up several days ago feeling really sickly. Ever since I've been diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy (google it), I've been more aware of my impending illnesses and colds. They've been quite frequent too.

Convinced I had strep throat yet again, I emailed Dr. S to let him know a few hours ahead that I wouldn't be able attend our therapy session. I knew I might have a 'missed appointment charge' and figured it would be my standard rate of $19/session.

I get a call from Dr. S that he's going to have to bill me $95 because my insurance doesn't cover missed appointments.

Just what every poor, grad student wants to hear.

But since when did anyone notify me of this from the get go? Um... never? So, I was &*$*%% pissed off!

First of all, I've been wanting to terminate my therapy with Dr. S for some time now, but my hatred of saying goodbye prevented me from doing so in spite of his relentless unprofessional demeanor (Note to future therapists: don't glance at the clock, yawn, stretch, shake your knee uncontrollably, or forget your booked appointments with clients). I asked Dr. S if there was anyway I could come in for 30 mins (I still had 30 mins remaining on the hour) and he could still bill my insurance for that time. He said 'I'm sorry, but I'm using this hour for some notes'.

Excuse me?! Hold the phone!

First off, how could my previous appointment spot have been used in such a manner? And, the lack of effort on his part to meet me halfway was what ultimately prompted my immediate termination with him.

In hindsight, it felt to me that he cared about his money more, and it was clear in his unwillingness to accomodate to my situation. It's not like I've ever missed an appointment with him before.

I proceeded to write him a termination email in which I stated how helpful he has been to me but going forward, I challenged him to look at the 'offputting vibe' he may be giving his future clients when he's not aware of his yawns, stretches, etc.

I must've given Dr. S too much credit for being an introspective counselor because he ended up saying that I was 'rude and abrasive' in my email.

I reiterated that I am not apologizing for any of my constructive criticism, and if my remarks invoked a negative response in him, then perhaps he should further explore the meaning behind it resonating such strong feelings inside himself (1 point for Christina!)

Dr. S must've taken my words to heart because the following day, he responded that he 'did care about my treatment with him, wishes we would've been able to work it out in our sessions, and that if I need a referral to see another therapist, not to hesitate' to ask him for one.

Yea, like I'm really gonna take therapist recommendations from you.

Although I'm disappointed with the way we ended, I'm still indebted to him for helping me work through some childhood drama, and help validate the person I am today. He was my first therapist so I will always remember him semi-fondly, and going forward, I will just have to be more demanding and outspoken about what I need/want, if I'm ever in search of another.