How To Tell Your Therapist Off

Well it's quite simple really. Especially, when you get charged an inflated, ridiculous amount ($95) for a missed appointment when you normally pay $19!

I woke up several days ago feeling really sickly. Ever since I've been diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy (google it), I've been more aware of my impending illnesses and colds. They've been quite frequent too.

Convinced I had strep throat yet again, I emailed Dr. S to let him know a few hours ahead that I wouldn't be able attend our therapy session. I knew I might have a 'missed appointment charge' and figured it would be my standard rate of $19/session.

I get a call from Dr. S that he's going to have to bill me $95 because my insurance doesn't cover missed appointments.

Just what every poor, grad student wants to hear.

But since when did anyone notify me of this from the get go? Um... never? So, I was &*$*%% pissed off!

First of all, I've been wanting to terminate my therapy with Dr. S for some time now, but my hatred of saying goodbye prevented me from doing so in spite of his relentless unprofessional demeanor (Note to future therapists: don't glance at the clock, yawn, stretch, shake your knee uncontrollably, or forget your booked appointments with clients). I asked Dr. S if there was anyway I could come in for 30 mins (I still had 30 mins remaining on the hour) and he could still bill my insurance for that time. He said 'I'm sorry, but I'm using this hour for some notes'.

Excuse me?! Hold the phone!

First off, how could my previous appointment spot have been used in such a manner? And, the lack of effort on his part to meet me halfway was what ultimately prompted my immediate termination with him.

In hindsight, it felt to me that he cared about his money more, and it was clear in his unwillingness to accomodate to my situation. It's not like I've ever missed an appointment with him before.

I proceeded to write him a termination email in which I stated how helpful he has been to me but going forward, I challenged him to look at the 'offputting vibe' he may be giving his future clients when he's not aware of his yawns, stretches, etc.

I must've given Dr. S too much credit for being an introspective counselor because he ended up saying that I was 'rude and abrasive' in my email.

I reiterated that I am not apologizing for any of my constructive criticism, and if my remarks invoked a negative response in him, then perhaps he should further explore the meaning behind it resonating such strong feelings inside himself (1 point for Christina!)

Dr. S must've taken my words to heart because the following day, he responded that he 'did care about my treatment with him, wishes we would've been able to work it out in our sessions, and that if I need a referral to see another therapist, not to hesitate' to ask him for one.

Yea, like I'm really gonna take therapist recommendations from you.

Although I'm disappointed with the way we ended, I'm still indebted to him for helping me work through some childhood drama, and help validate the person I am today. He was my first therapist so I will always remember him semi-fondly, and going forward, I will just have to be more demanding and outspoken about what I need/want, if I'm ever in search of another.

The Ex Files

...coming soon...





and, onto a better and brighter topic...

New Things Tried This Week:

• Make cotton candy (surprisingly, quite a chore and messy!)
• Soju shots and beer without puking (yay, my tolerance is increasing)
• Quit social smoking (4 days and counting)
• Mexican Eggs Benedict (uber fabulous!)







Dos Caminos




• Write an Article Critique
• Afghan Norooz Celebration

Nowrooz (Afghan New Year) @ NYU

California Love

I, (and 1 million NYers) would agree

For the longest time, I willed myself into believing that in order to LOVE and live in NY, that meant I had to sever all ties to my heart, and my former home- Los Angeles, California. It's that kind of dichotomous thinking: East Coast vs West Coast mentality that has got me on any given day, loving NY/hating LA, or Loving LA/hating NY.

For months I've battled back and forth between my love/indifference for my new life in The City. Talking to a few people in similar situations as myself, a lot of us that have moved out East from the West coast means adjusting to an entire new way of life-- public transportation with people you normally wouldn't be exposed to, living in (MUCH) smaller living quarters with (MUCH) higher rent costs, mingling with very unique people (which can also translate to mingling with very crazy people) and a faster pace of living mixed with harsher weather elements.

That's all been fine and dandy for me. I like being busy and always on-the-go.

However, no one ever told me that I'd miss what I've taken most for granted since living here: 1) the ever-reliable Cali sun and 2) my beautiful, lovely, nice, and NORMAL family and friends back home.

What I miss most about Cali are my Cali loves

Now, I don't want to knock the new friends I've made in NY, or the recently acquainted family members I've met out here. There are a lot of nice people that have been supportive of me, and given me the space to embrace my independent and free-spirited nature with little judgment or questions asked. Meanwhile, I've started hanging out with some fellow transplants also originally from Cali (isn't it weird how that happens?), but my biggest gripe about NY aside from the sky-high living costs, is the lack of COMMUNITY. Maybe now that I'm getting older, I don't enjoy partying like a rock star all the time. I've sorta got the been there, done that mentality. Also, working hard and having very little time to relax, to me, that's not an enjoyable way of living. I long for the slow and tranquil days of Cali, going to the beach on a whim, even missing the generic attributes of my fellow Lost Angelenos (way easier to figure out than the indie folk I meet here).

And, I absolutely miss Mexican food! It's always funny too, how New Yorkers love to say to me "Oh, you have to know where to go. You just haven't found a good spot". Trust me, I've hunted around quite a few places now and the carnitas never quite tastes like the stuff back home.

I'm still opening myself up to getting to learn New York's way of life and appreciating everything it has to offer (cool culture, eccentricities, exceptionally fine dining- dare I say, the best in the nation!) especially now that the weather is getting nicer. As my friend Kim says "We're all here in NY on borrowed time. No one stays in NY forever, so you might as well live in the best neighborhood, eat the best food and enjoy the hardcore parties..."

Going forward, that will be my new motto for day-to-day life. I think it's the only way that it'll keep me sane, at least, for another year or so.

Every time it rains, snows, hails, gets windy, and as I walk the streets each morning and evening rushing to get from Point A to Point B inhaling the cab fumes and probably developing some form of cancer, I just think of my friends enjoying the beautiful nature hikes, Cali's ability to laugh easily and often, and the mellow, breezy days that seem to stretch on endlessly.

Then I start to think about the earthquakes...

And that makes me ponder: What if I were still living in California?

Would I be sitting in my mildly warm, massive apartment with not enough furniture to fill it, complaining about the one-hour commute in traffic, blogging about how much I ♥ NY?

Abso-f*cking-lutely.

Hermosa Beach, California